Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize