Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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