I feel like abortions should bother me more
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
