Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize