so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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