Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
