Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize