he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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