So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Randomize
