boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
