Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
