I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
