I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize