you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
