due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
