I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
