I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
