We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You dont lie about slip and slides
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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