A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
