I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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