I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
