would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
