I am puke
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
