Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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