O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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