I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
