i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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