found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
