I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
