I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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