Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
