I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
