break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
