The maid of honor just puked.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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