Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
