guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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