We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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