It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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