I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
