im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
