So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
