after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
