If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
