I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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