Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Randomize
