your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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