I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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