I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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