What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
