How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
