quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
