Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
