just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
