Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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