he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
