I think i peed on brittanys purse
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
