I queefed so loud it echoed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
