I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
