I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize