Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize