I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
