if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
