then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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