in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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