she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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