At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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