Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
