Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
