After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
