Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize