i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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