READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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